Reflection following Part 5, and Assignment 5

I feel drained.

All of the previous parts of this course have been largely technical. Learn a skill, and demonstrate it. Understand a concept, and demonstrate it.

Part 5 has been much more personal. Show how you look at things, show how you see things… show who you are.

Now, I’m a very self aware person, with complexities, dark corners, and some pretty uncomfortable limitations.  This part of the course made me examine those aspects of myself… (something I’m not unaccustomed to doing)… and present them in photographs (again, something I’m not unaccustomed to doing), and then explain them. It’s this explaining part that I have found draining.

It’s an easy thing to take photos that, in their conception, say “I feel isolated from this world”, but it’s not easy to explain that.

It’s an easy thing to take photos that say “I’m going to die, I have no genetic legacy, and the idea of being forgotten, or no-one having an inkling that I existed, fills me with horror”… but putting it in words… I don’t like it.

At best, it seems self indulgent. At worst, it reads like a mid life crisis, or worse, teenage angst in a middle aged man.

Taking the photos is cathartic. Explaining them is not.